Perfect Love

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

~ 1 John 4:18

This verse has captivated me and confused me for a very long time. For a season, I totally forgot about it. Too busy with work, too caught up with kids... 

But now this is a period that the world is in fear. Yesterday my 10-year-old son made such an astute observation. He read the papers for 3 minutes, then came up to me and asked, "Why is the news in the newspapers always bad news?"

Isn't that true? Our pastor mentioned yesterday that there seems to be more "value" in bad news than good. As if people wake up eager to pick up the papers and read Bad News. *LOL* It's true. I personally think it's the whole "misery loves company" adage come alive - the very reason why gossip is so attractive.

But perfect love casts out all fear. How does that work? If I know God's perfect love, then I have no fear. But since sometimes I do feel fear, then does it mean, I don't know God's perfect love?

That must be - to some extent. I do know that when I first fell in love with Jesus, I was not afraid of anything. I wasn't even afraid of dying. I understood with every fibre of my being what he meant when Paul said, to be away from the body is to be with the Lord. 

This love carried me through five very very tough years - when my mother died, God's love was what carried me supernaturally, filled me with such unspeakable joy at the knowledge of my mother in Jesus' arms, where she had longed to be for the many years she suffered from cancer. His love carried me through the death of my father and the two exhausting years that followed during which I had to clear our my parents' home, all 42 years of memories. What do you do with a keychain that is so ugly you can't believe it can exist but which you know your father spent a truckload of money on because it's trimmed in pure gold?

I admit I have not felt love at that fiery level for a few years now. Even though when the presence of the Lord fills my room I am reduced to tears, even though when I think about heaven, I want to be there soon, to be with my Lord, to see His face with my eyes, to hear His wonderful voice, to dance with Him, I feel for a moment again, I could die for Him. I miss that fullness of knowledge of His love for me.

So I pursue this perfect love that only God can give me. I pray it doesn't take a tragedy to feel it again, but that by faith I decide God's love is my peace. I shall not want, I shall not fear. Sure, I will walk through the valley of darkness - not to be flippant but, been there done that - but I choose to remember no evil will befall me, because He is my shepherd. Even right now, He prepares a table for me in the sight of my enemies — I don't have to fear any harm at all.

Father, let Your love flood me, my mind, my heart, my spirit, my mouth. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. I repent of my lukewarmness - I also repent of my impatient behaviour at church today - bless that driver from that church! I repent of wishing I could run over his toes.

Let Your love guide me - guide husband, guide children.

Love you Lord

T