Zero marks for this evangelist

Sighhhh.

According to the Bible, I am supposed to be empowered to preach the gospel to the ends of the earth, cast out demons, heal the sick and they will recover, pray in new tongues et al.

So how come I am such a terrible evangelist? It seems the easiest of all the above.

I invited my good friend M to a BBG session. She obediently came. I didn't check if it did anything for her (though I know it's not about her, it's about Him) and asked her again. And again.

Finally today she said, "Don't call me. I'll call you."

Fail! Can't even evangelise to a good friend. How like that? No hope already lah. Liao!

Thinking about it, I guess it wasn't so much evangelising I was doing, but bugging the hair off the woman's head. It wasn't of the Spirit coz if it were I wouldn't have to ask her to come back, right?

Still, God loves a persistent saint. I know He loves me.

He's just shaking His head and patting mine. There there.

I love my friend. God asked me two months ago "Who are the people who constantly come to you for help and prayer?" and she was the first person on my mind. And the Lord revealed that I needed to help her, to guide her into a closer and stronger relationship with Him so that she can start being used by Him in bigger and bigger things.

Our relationship with God is the complete opposite of what we grow up learning. We have first to give Him everything, put Him first, then He will have faith to work on, and blessings to shower down. If we give Him nothing, He can't give us anything. We grew up learning that you better not reveal that you love someone in case He doesn't love you back.

But our God always had, does and will love us.

Beyond loving us, He wants us to have a living and exciting relationship with Him. Once a week Sunday praise and worship Hallelujah ain't the be all and end all. We are saved for good works. It's like being hired for a job. You're expected to learn the ropes fast and obey and perform and get the promotion. You can't stay at entry level for the rest of your life. Neither you nor God will be happy.

If M could see what God has in store for her! If she could see the plans He has for her, to give her a future and a hope!!! I wish she could see!!! Because then she'd be rushing to get closer faster, and not waste one minute.

But until the Holy Spirit gives her that vision I have to be her cheerleader, her encourager, her friend. I won't give up -- she's too precious to God, and I've been tagged with the assignment and I intend to obey. Not going to have to appear in front of the Lord and have it held against me that I did nothing to help her grow.

Of course the lesson for me is that I did not pray whether I should ask her to BBG. It's a very intense cell group, not your average happy happy feelgood party. It can be scary to hear everyone praying so loudly in tongues, to see people drop like flies by the power of the Spirit, to see gold dust appear out of nowhere.

I am praying now, and I do know God just wants me to lead her, gently. You can't push a horse (I better not say mule or she will royally slap me when she sees this), it'll just sit on you. There are so many ways that Jesus can reveal HImself, as long as we study the Word, because He IS His Word.

I pray for her forgiveness and for her NOT to harden her heart or I will have some major answering to do. I pray for the perfect Bible Study programme for her -- I realise I might not even be part of her journey in that direction. Most of all I pray that I will exercise wisdom and love and not rush people into things they are not comfortable with, because Jesus never rushed anyone. He only convicted them, and they came running to Him.