Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Jesus in a butterfly

Been thinking about blogging for a year.

Why thinking, not doing - don't ask. Between the last post and this, a baby, and 2 jobs have happened.

Also I oft wondered, am I still on fire for God? Does my blog title deserve the name it has or should it be "Spat-Out Lukewarm Blog" or something?

But God is good, amen? He has been so, so, so good to me and my loved ones. I'm in a job now that lets me pray with my staff, share inspiring stories with my readers and lead them one step closer to the Lord (I hope!), and now, doors are opening for bigger, more impactful things such as a potential cancer fund for young women! Glory to God - I'm just chuffed to be used by Him and so glad I walked in the path He drew out for me.

One of the biggest things weighing on my mind has been my children's spirituality. My 9-year-old boy is in Boys Brigade - still says he doesn't SEE Jesus but is beginning to get that it's faith and belief that will bring him to that point. My 7-year-old is going through a rough time in school, and has a deep longing for God but again "I can't see Him, Mommy, how do I know He's there?"

Last night, as I tucked her to bed, I shared with her a little secret I have with Jesus. A few years ago, after reading a book by Laurie Beth Jones, I was inspired to ask the Lord "If I'm ever down, or need to be reminded of you, will you send me a butterfly?" And ever since, butterflies have suddenly appeared -- next to my car window as I stop at a red light, taking morning walks which (I admit) I don't really enjoy, getting a much-needed coffee when my energy is depleted and suddenly, there is a butterfly just hovering over my head.

She was visibly cheered up. So we prayed, "Jesus, when Beth is down, will you be with her and will you send her a butterfly so she knows you are always there with her, no matter what?"

And she wept, and asked me, "Do you know why I'm crying?"

"No I don't, baby. Do you?"

"No, I don't know why. I just feel like crying."

And I told her, "That's Jesus and the Holy Spirit, filling your heart of love so full that it's coming out of your eyes." And she sniffed and nodded, and fell promptly asleep.