Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Gold Dust AGAIN!

It's been a loooong while.

Many Christians warned me. Give yourself a few  years - you'll find your love for God fading, it becomes harder and harder to talk to God, and slowly, you find yourself sliding... sliding...

A backslider was not made in a day.

I was determined not to be one, but I have to say the last 1 year has raised some challenges. With 3 kids, what seems like 8 jobs and a host of household issues to tackle, some days it's hard to just be still and quiet and be with God.

Some days I make time, and force myself to be quiet, and 40 minutes later I feel like nothing has happened, and God's still in the shower.

I didn't quite believe it when my friends told me this happens to every Christian - surely not me.

But it has.

So I vacillate between being desperate for God and waiting all morning for Him to appear, to being "I give up, I'm too busy and maybe later He'll show up and we'll both be in the mood to talk."

But can I say God is good, and He is good all the time, everywhere, no matter what we do... 

It happens when I'm driving along the ECP. Suddenly a verse comes to mind - God thinks a thousand thoughts towards me.

So I ask "Lord what are you thinking about me right now?"

The answer comes, straight like an arrow to my heart: "I'm thinking about when I knit you in your mother's womb, how beautiful I knew you would be, and how beautiful you are now."

Wow, tears. Major tears. 

The presence lands inside the car, thick like a fog. I can barely drive, I'm weeping so hard.

Last week at BBG, Pastor Ming is teaching about being Bigger People. Making a concerted effort to do something kind for someone every single day. Remembering the name of a wait-person who served you at the restaurant and thanking her by name. It's what the Lord had been telling me that week: find one person to be kind to today.

I look down and my hands are covered in gold dust. I think - gee, that new face powder I'm using is so glittery. It covers the whole palm, but I'm wondering if it's just makeup. I turn my hands over and the backs of my hands are glittering too. 

It's gold dust from God, again - after a really long time. :)

Eng Han is excited "I prayed for signs and wonders!"

I'm looking forward to more signs and wonders - we've only just begun!